nude for a cause

Not all nudity is gratuitous. Despite the prudishness of some, going nude always draws attention.

"If you are going to take your clothes off for something, it better be a good cause."
—Sophie Monk

And she did.



See PeTA Asia Pacific - Sophie Monk Poses Nude to Promote Vegetarianism



Unfortunately, 'nudity for a cause' has its critics, including Andrew Bolt who is a conservative opinion columnist for the (Melbourne) Herald Sun.

Just take the new poster from PETA of Sophie Monk lying naked on a carpet of chillies.

She looks simply delicious, and makes me salivate for a beef curry.

Oh, apologies. Looking closer I see that the body of our Aussie starlet, now bravely trying her luck in Hollywood, appears over the words: "Spice Up Your Life. Go Vegetarian."

How odd, though. Why present flesh so beautifully, and then tell the ravenous to eat chillies instead? But when did reason have anything to do with stripping for a cause?

For instance, I've never understood how the annual World Naked Bike Ride could persuade anyone to get out of their eco-sinning car and on to a bike.

All I could think of, seeing all those bare buttocks grinding along on narrow seats, was red-raw rashes.

Also mystifying was why Greenpeace got 600 volunteers to pose nude on Switzerland's Aletsch glacier the other day.

All those people standing naked on ice, and we're supposed to panic that global warming might make them warmer?

And why pick the Aletsch glacier for this, when scientists say this very same glacier not only melted like this before, but in the hotter Roman times had so shrunk that it "was even somewhat shorter than today"?

But I guess the sight of 600 splendid bodies is meant to make your brain freeze and reject mere facts.

Is that, then, the explanation - that the Left has better bodies than brains, and so goes with its strength?

This could explain why, for instance, campaigners against genetically modified crops have staged naked protests in Britain, while the scientists who have proved these crops safe feel no need to remove even their lab coats.

It's another bodies versus brains argument, and you know that when someone tries to convince you of a political point by showing you their genitals, the facts no longer count.

Mind you, protesters of the Left aren't more inclined to strip simply because they are dumber.

Some simply think nudity buys them just enough of your attention to get across a point you'd otherwise ignore.

Yet I'm looking now at pictures taken during last month's Sydney protests against George Bush and wondering if that's really true.

Here I have a picture of a naked man with what looks like a sock on his penis being dragged off by police.

Am I paying attention? Yes.

Do I now think Bush is the idiot? Well, not Bush, no . . .

Or here is a picture of a protester who's painted "No war" over her great cellu-blighted buttocks.

Has she persuaded me of her cause? Er, her getting dressed would persuade me much sooner.

Mind you, if I were a woman like Californian eco-artist Donna Sheehan I might see this differently.

She once heard of a protest against an oil company staged by Nigerian women threatening to do the most shaming thing in their culture: to undress.

The company gave in, and Sheehan was so inspired she formed Baring Witness, urging women to use their bodies to catch "the attention of the patriarchal system; seducing it into partnership".

What haven't these women since stripped for?

In Byron Bay in 2003, 750 of them - led by singer Grace Knight - stripped to stop the Iraq war.

It didn't work, of course, and not one of Baring Witness's scores of protests around the world have managed to seduce the patriarchal system into any partnership at all.

Not that the women were as worried about a them, as much as enjoying an us. As Knight said of her protest: "Stripped bare of any clothing or adornment that label and separate us, we become united as a single entity.".

Aren't most naked protests just as selfish?

As we ponder this, let me read the caption to another PETA ad, this time starring "international cover model, actor and spokesperson for Dollhouse Clothing, sexy supermodel Joanna Krupa", who declares: "I'd rather go naked than wear fur."

And she proves it. In fact, the caption declares "she posed in not one but three versions of the sexy ad".

What a noble girl. Such a big heart, she has. But such a small . . . waist.

So he does have a tiny sense of humour. But he is still an idiot.

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There were lots of things that I had planned to do. The problem with having a long 'to do list' is that often, you end up doing nothing. Which is what I did today. Well, not exactly, I did put clean laundry away. Now, should I do some ironing or not?