Showing posts with label idiots. Show all posts
Showing posts with label idiots. Show all posts

16 January 2010

Pat Robertson is an idiot

Satan hits back at Pat Robertson via Minneapolis Star-Tribune (as dictated to Lily Coyle)
Dear Pat Robertson,

I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I'm all over that action.

But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished.

Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"?

If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: Not how I roll.

You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.

Best, Satan
Also reported by NPR.

Here is Pat Robertson's rant on The 700 Club, broadcast on the Christian Broadcasting Network


Here is a rebuttal by H.E. Raymond Joseph, Haitian Ambassador to U.S. on MSNBC's The Rachel Maddow Show


Help for Haiti: Learn What You Can Do

15 December 2009

selling the goose that lays the golden egg

BBC Worldwide is the commercial arm of the BBC and earns significant revenue for them

BBC Worldwide is the main commercial arm and a wholly owned subsidiary of the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC). Its mission is to create, acquire, develop and exploit media content and brands around the world in order to maximise the value of the BBC's assets for the benefit of the UK licence payer.

The company has seven core businesses: Channels, Sales & Distribution, Magazines and Children's & Licensing, Content & Production, Home Entertainment, Digital Media and Global Brands.

In 2008/09 BBC Worldwide generated profits of £103 million (before exceptionals) on revenues of £1.004bn.

BBC Worldwide operates under the BBC Charter and Agreement, which sets out four commercial criteria with which our activities must comply. BBC Worldwide's activities must:

  • Fit with the BBC's Public Purposes as set out in the Charter;
  • Be commercially efficient;
  • Not jeopardise the good reputation of the BBC or the value of the BBC brand
  • Comply with the BBC's Fair Trading Guidelines and avoid distorting the market

BBC Worldwide provides a global showcase for the best of British creative talent including actors, journalists, presenters, writers, directors, musicians, designers and technicians. We sell programmes and formats produced by more than 500 different UK independent producers. Through our activities we build the reputation of the BBC globally and in April 2009 we were awarded the Queen's Award for Enterprise which recognised the company's substantial growth in overseas earnings over the past three years.

Over the past five years we have invested more than £1bn in the UK's creative sector, making BBC Worldwide a major supporter of this increasingly important area of 'UK plc'.

The Guardian has reported that the British government is urging the BBC to sell off BBC Worldwide.

Given that BBC Worldwide is dependent on BBC programming to make sales, such a move is completely ludicrous. A privately owned BBC Worldwide, which would probably need to change its name, would then have to buy programming (offshore distributions rights) from the BBC itself, amongst other independent productions, to on-sell to third parties.

Baffling logic.

27 September 2009

How would you spend over one sextillion dollars?

Dalton Chiscolm sued Bank of America for a lot of money, complaining about poor service.

Chiscolm asked for 1,784 billion, trillion dollars. A billion is 1 followed by nine zeroes. A trillion is 1 followed by 12 zeroes. Multiplied, that would be 1 followed by 21 zeroes - a sextillion.

$1,784,000,000,000,000,000,000

or one point seven eight four sextillion dollars.

More money than that bank would realistically own or indeed every other bank on the planet combined.

What on earth did Mr Chiscolm expect he could buy with all that money?

See Reuters.

25 September 2009

evangelising ignorance

Charles Darwin's On the Origin of Species was first published on 24 November 1859. To celebrate the 150th anniversary, Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort's evangelism ministry The Way of the Master will be giving away 50 000 copies of a 'special edition' of the book to top universities in the United States.

Here is his YouTube video.


Here are two YouTube videos from people who think Kirk Cameron is an idot.

22 June 2009

racial segregation in 2009

I was surprised and appalled to read this article in the Daily Telegraph, particularly as it is a British newspaper.
Segregated high school proms divide Georgia's students

Kera Nobles' senior prom should have been a high point of her life, as she celebrated graduation from her home town's school system after 13 years of education.
By Leonard Doyle in Montgomery county, Georgia
Segregated high school proms divide Georgia
Kera Nobles is photographed at a dinner. Nobles was a senior this year when Montgomery County High School held two proms, one attended by black students and the other by whites Photo: ADAM NADEL

But instead it has left the normally bubbly 17-year-old smouldering with anger. For, following a local tradition that seems extraordinary in a country which has elected its first black president, there was not just one formal dance for the 54 classmates who graduated from Montgomery County High, but two.

On the first night, a prom was held for the school's white students; the following night came the celebration for Miss Nobles and the school's other blacks.

In early summer when Georgia peaches are at their sweetest and high school seniors can't wait to be loosed on the world, separate proms are part of the bitter aftertaste of segregation that persists in parts of America's Deep South.

For nearly 40 years state school pupils have been educated together. They have played sports together and developed close bonds of friendship, before finding themselves face to face with a cruel ghost from America's past.

"It was heartbreaking," said Miss Nobles, who will be leaving home to go to university this autumn. "It was the one night to see all your friends dressed up and I'm told, I have to wait until the next night because of the colour of my skin."

The annual prom held by high schools across America near the end of the academic year is big event, for which students and parents spend months preparing. But in a handful of Southern towns, parents still insist on whites-only proms which blacks are not allowed to attend.

The election of Barack Obama did nothing to change attitudes that go back generations in the small rural towns of Montgomery county, Georgia; the surge of pride black people felt in the election of the first black President was met by frosty silence by whites. The county, which is two thirds white, voted overwhelmingly Republican last November and attitudes have hardened as the months have passed.

Barred from attending the white prom, Kera still stood outside to show moral support for her closest friends, cheering and taking photographs as they arrived and did the "senior walk" into the community hall with their boyfriends or their fathers. Then she left, with her black friends.

Next evening her own white friends encouraged her and took their own pictures as she and her friends dressed in lavishly coloured dresses and rented dress suits for their own event at the same venue.

She was close to tears. "Every (school) class we sat beside each other," she said, ticking off the names of her best white girlfirends, Harley Boone and Cierra Sharpe.

"We love each other. But there's a lot of hidden history here, and while everybody gets along there's always something... If your parents are a certain way nine times out of 10 you're going to think the same way."

Blake Conner, 17, who is white, did not want to go to the prom at all, but was persuaded to attend by friends. "There's a lot of people I went to school with, who are my friends that I wish could have been there," he said, lifting sacks of sweet corn from an elderly farmer's pickup truck into farm shop where he has a summer job.

He believes it would be hard to have a successful integrated prom for what he calls "cultural reasons."

"My friends tried to organise a joint prom but they just couldn't agree on the music or even a theme," he said.

For two white sisters, Terra and Tamara Fountain, both of whom have black boyfriends, prom night was especially trying. "I wanted to go to the black prom," said Terra, 18, "but my mom wouldn't pay. She doesn't like me talking to black people anyway." She now lives with her black boyfriend, Gary Carswell, but neither feels comfortable living under scrutiny in a small town.

Her sister Tamara, 16, added that she cannot be seen on the street with her boyfriend Ken Troupe. "Its terrible, everybody's so racist round here," she said. "If they see you in public with a black guy they just stare at you with hate in their eyes."

Montgomery county's time warp seems to be rooted in institutionalised racism. Until relatively recently the black community of this town lived in terror of the lynch mob.

In one infamous killing in early August 1930, a prominent 70-year old black politician was taken from his house by a mob and tortured to death. In 1944, after a one-day trial by an all white jury, a maid was convicted and later executed for shooting dead a man who was sexually assaulting her.

Racially motivated killings continued through the 1950s, and in the late 1970s a white man was shot dead for having an affair with a black woman. No one was prosecuted.

Officials insist that the once powerful Ku Klux Klan is no longer active. "The Klan is now history and thank the Lord for that," said one. "They are gone now, we are just dealing with some old attitudes."

It's those attitudes that kept last month's proms segregated, since the parents of white pupils refuse to support it another way. This year's "white folks' prom", as it is known, was a lavish affair for which tickets cost over $200 a head - out of the reach of most black pupils, who are from some of the poorest families in the country.

The sadness of the black pupils was captured by Gillian Laub, a freelance photographer who reported on the town's segregated events for the New York Times Magazine.

Harley Boone, a graduating white student who posed by her parents' outdoor swimming pool, told her: "There's always been two separate proms. It don't seem like a big deal around here, it's just what we know and what our parents have done for so many years.

"In our school system it's not really about being racist or having all white friends or all black friends. We all hang out together, we're all in the same classes, and we all eat lunch together at the same table. It's not about what colour you are."

Miss Boone's comments outraged many and she found herself cruelly caricatured as a racist on a YouTube video that has been widely viewed.

Betty McCoy, the editor of the local newspaper, the Montgomery Monitor, has watched with dismay as segregated proms continue year after year. "It's really the fault of a few families," she said. "This is really a friendly and well integrated community."

Pastor F Lee Carter of the African Baptist Church - who once marched for civil rights in Selma, Alabama with Rev Martin Luther King, has little patience with those who demand separate proms.

"Political life is intertwined; educational life is too," he said. "So why shouldn't our social life be intertwined as well?"

But the school superintendent, Leon Batten, pointed out: "The most segregated hour of the week is 11 am on a Sunday morning when white and black attend separate churches."

Even so, Mr Batten has decided it is time to end the segregation - and next year there will be an integrated prom, arranged by the school instead of the parents, he told The Sunday Telegraph. "It may not be a great success at first, but we will persist and over time the segregation will be history."

Surely segregation is illegal. The students who disagreed should have boycotted the segregated separate proms. Ultimately, those who refuse to attend an integrated prom will clearly be in a minority.

11 April 2009

Bigotry in action

From Fox News.
Asian-Americans Blast Texas Congressman's Call for 'Easier to Deal With' Names
Asian-Americans are outraged following what they say were offensive comments made by a Texas lawmaker who suggested that voters of Asian descent adopt names that are "easier for Americans to deal with" at the polls.

By Joshua Rhett Miller
FOXNews.com
Thursday, April 09, 2009

Asian-Americans say they are outraged that a Texas lawmaker suggested in a hearing that Asian-American voters should adopt names that are "easier for Americans to deal with" at the polls.

Texas Rep. Betty Brown, a Republican, made the comments on Tuesday as Ramey Ko, an associate member of the Organization of Chinese Americans, testified before the Texas House Elections Committee on voter identification legislation.

Ko testified that people of Asian descent frequently have difficulties voting due to differences in their legal transliterated names and the English name shown on their driver's licenses.

Brown asked Ko: "Rather than everyone here having to learn Chinese -- I understand it's a rather difficult language -- do you think that it would behoove you and your citizens to adopt a name that we could deal with more readily here?"

Brown later said, "Can't you see that this is something that would make it a lot easier for you and the people who are poll workers if you could adopt a name just for identification purposes that's easier for Americans to deal with?"

The Texas Democratic Party called on Brown to apologize on Wednesday.

The exchange, which has appeared on YouTube, has angered many Asian-Americans.

"It really goes to show you that no matter how much progress is made when it comes to race, ignorance still exists in America," said Brad Baldia, national president of the National Association of Asian American Professionals. "It's a slap in the face and it goes to show that there needs to be more education of our government in terms of diversity in America."

Baldia said the comments were particularly "insensitive" as Asian-Americans are becoming increasingly involved in the political process.

Karen Narasaki, president and executive of the Asian American Justice Center, said Brown's comments indicate a lack of understanding.

"I think Rep. Brown owes an apology to the entire Asian-American community," Narasaki said. "But more than that, she needs to show that she understands that that's an unacceptable solution. She probably thinks that President Obama should change his last name too."

Jordan Berry, a spokesman for Brown, defended the lawmaker and said her comments were not racially motivated.

"It had nothing to do with race," Berry told FOXNews.com. "What she was talking about was the Chinese name, just transposing it from Chinese to English."

Berry said Brown apologized to Ko shortly after the hearing.

"She reached out to him immediately," Berry said. "What more do you want?"

Sarah Smith, communications manager for the Organization of Chinese Americans, said the group was "disappointed" by Brown's comments. It was not immediately clear whether Ko and Brown had connected, she said. Ko could not be reached for comment.

"Representative Brown's comments made clear that she lacks an understanding of Asian American cultures and that she in fact undervalues other cultures," OCA Executive Director George Wu said in a statement issued late Thursday.

Texas Democratic Party Chairman Boyd Richie called on Brown to apologize and accused her Republican counterparts of trying to suppress votes with a partisan voter identification bill.

"It's shameful that Rep. Brown's immediate and initial reaction to hearing a legitimate problem with a Voter ID bill was to ask a fellow American to sacrifice his good family name and tradition for the convenience of her partisan agenda," Richie said in a statement to FOXNews.com.

"Texans are proud of our family names, and for one of our lawmakers to suggest even once that a fellow Texan should sacrifice his name is an insult to our most precious values."

Berry said Democrats were "looking for an issue" and took Brown's comments out of context.

Russell Leong, an adjunct professor of Asian American studies at UCLA, said the incident highlights "anti-immigrant xenophobia" in the United States.

"Beyond partisan politics of Democratic and Republican, the bottom line issue is the anti-immigrant xenophobia that has developing after 9/11 -- against all groups including but not limited to Asians, Arabs, Middle Easterners, and Mexicans and Latinos," Leong told FOXNews.com in a statement.

"How far is America willing to go to be inclusive of its non-white and non-European immigrants? Did America have problems with its Russian, Polish, and Eastern European immigrants or refugees who passed through Ellis Island? Were not their names also difficult to pronounce or spell? Asian names are no more difficult, in my view."

Officials from the Asian American Institute said Brown's comments were "outrageous, offensive and hurtful."

"Her comments send the message that diversity is not welcome in Texas, and that Asian Americans are foreigners who are unwelcome in the United States," AAI Executive Director Tuyet Le said in a statement to FOXNews.com.


Even Rachel Farris was outraged in Huffington Post.

Outrageous. It is hard to believe that in this day and age certain people still have this attitude. Perhaps Betty Brown would like to return to the days of racial segregation. Next she'll want to make it illegal for Americans of Latino background to speak Spanish.

19 March 2009

They don't deserve to be known as 'dog lovers'

An awful story in the UK Daily Telegraph.
Britons abandon dogs as they quit Spain

British expatriates are dumping their dogs by the side of motorways or leaving them to starve in boarded-up villas as the credit crunch forces them to abandon their Spanish dream and fly home.
The puppy kennel at the Adana rescue centre in Estepona which has seen a steep rise in abandoned dogs
The puppy kennel at the Adana rescue centre in Estepona which has seen a steep rise in abandoned dogs Photo: FIONA GOVAN

Rescue centres along the Costa del Sol report that their intake of animals has almost doubled in the last year, leaving them full to overflowing with some 1,000 abandoned dogs - and unable to care for any more.

Although it is not always possible to be certain who owned the abandoned dogs, these figures and the experiences of animal welfare workers suggest that scores of Britons, defeated by the credit crunch, have simply flown home and left their dogs to fend for themselves in Spain.

Despite the UK's reputation as a nation of dog lovers, one rescue centre manager claimed that when it comes to abandoning pets "the British are the worst culprits".

Among the worst cases encountered were pets left tied to balconies or released at popular nature spots in the vague hope that a dog walker might find them and take them in.

"It's incredible," said Maria Stevens, kennel manager at the Adana animal rescue centre. "People find the time to pack up their furniture and other belongings and yet their pets' welfare is an afterthought."

At the centre in the hills above the resort of Estepona, more than 150 dogs are crammed into enclosures designed for only half that number.

"We simply don't have the room for many more and yet they keep coming," said Mrs Stevens, 47, explaining that until last summer an average of 90 dogs were held at the centre at any one time.

She pointed to Sally, a cocker spaniel with her nose pressed against the fence. "She's an absolute sweetie but she is suffering trauma after being found in the central reservation of the motorway near the airport. God knows what her owners were thinking."

Recently three small dogs were found in a boarded up villa on the outskirts of Estepona weeks after their British owners left because they could not keep up their mortgage payments.

"It was an incredible act of cruelty," said Mrs Stevens. "The dogs had been left some food and water but if a neighbour hadn't heard the barking and called us they would have eventually started eating each other before starving to death."

At the AAA rescue centre near Marbella, its administrator Celia Lago said: "It's always the same story. People have to go home to their countries because their dream life hasn't panned out here in Spain but it's the animals that suffer. And the British are the worst culprits."

Mrs Lago explained that British quarantine laws made it especially difficult for returning British expatriates to take their dogs with them. She said the pet passport scheme, which allows animals clear of rabies to be brought into Britain, can take up to seven months and cost £1,000 in vet and kennel fees.

"The Germans or Dutch just put their pets in the back of the car and off they go, but the Brits don't have that option," she said.

Her centre is currently caring for 200 abandoned dogs, and in the last two months it has dealt with a total of 300 dogs - almost double the number for the corresponding period last year.

If this trend continues, the centre estimates it could face an intake of up to 2,000 dogs in 2009 compared to 916 in 2008. Most of these, Mrs Lago said, were abandoned by expatriates.

An estimated million Britons have made their home on the Costas. But as unemployment reaches the highest in the eurozone and with the pound plummeting against the euro many are now returning home.

"That doesn't excuse the huge number of British people who just abandon their pets," said Mrs Lago. "A dog is like a member of the family. They wouldn't just leave their children behind would they?"

Animal lovers have already become distressed to see so many dogs roaming the streets. Susan Broadley, 60, a property management agent who has lived in Estepona for 27 years, rescued a dog that was in "a terrible state", coaxing it into her car. But, she said tearfully, it had to be put down.

“People don’t seem to realise that turning their dog out to fend for itself is a form of cruelty. It’s horrible and it’s happening more and more,” she said.

Unbelievable. RSPCA in the UK should be given the power to lay animal cruelty charges.

10 March 2009

corporate drivel

Some philosophers, particularly in France, misappropriate scientific concepts when they want to sound impressive about nothing. Alan Sokal knows all about this.

It doesn't stop there. It seems that physics concepts are now being misappropriated by marketers. See for example, this article in The Guardian
Metaphorically speaking, Pepsi's gibberish is hard to swallow

Ben Goldacre
Saturday 7 March 2009

An extraordinary document called The Pepsi Gravitational Field has been leaked on to the internet. The claim is that this 27-page wonder represents a successful $1.5m (£1.05m) pitch to make a slight modification to the Pepsi logo. Welcome to the science of PR.

"By investing in our history and brand ethos we can create a new trajectory forwards," they explain in the opening pages. This is entirely reasonable. A cognitive linguist by the name of George Lakoff has done some fascinating (and no doubt gruelling) empirical work on metaphors in English literature. He has shown, for example, that we often conceive of the abstract in terms of the concrete: anger is an overheated fluid in a sealed vessel, emotional states are locations, and fascinatingly, we don't just talk about things in this way, we may also reason using these metaphors.

How else can you explain the fact that "baby, we're riding in the fast lane on the freeway of love" is so instantly meaningful to us? Perhaps - and this is speculation - we think about abstract things using brain hardware that originally evolved to deal with more simple visuo-spatial manipulations.

pepsi logo

I am open to new ideas. Lakoff may or may not be entirely correct, but he is not throwing words around at random: his ideas are often coherent and stimulating, and they may have explanatory force for real world phenomena. Let us return to the Pepsi document. It is gibberish. "The investment in our DNA leads to breakthrough innovation and allows us to move out of the traditional linear system into the future". This is accompanied by a helpful diagram, which is reproduced here for your delight. "The Pepsi DNA finds its origin in the dynamic of perimeter oscillations," they explain. There is talk of an "authentic geometry". "The breathtaking colour palette is derived," they explain, "using a scientific method of colour assignment based on the product's essence and primary features." They go on to discuss "attraction theory", and the "Pepsi proposition".

This involves the "establishment of a gravitational pull to shift from a 'transactional' experience to an 'invitational' expression." The accompanying diagrams show a "typical light path" being subjected to gravitational pull, and then the gravitational pull of Pepsi. The words "relativity of space and time" appear next to a curved light beam, but the diagram for Pepsi shows many Pepsi logos, distorting the human path through "typical shopping aisle".

Here we find further parallels with conventional physics. "The universe expands exponentially with f(x)=e^x (1 light year = 671 million miles per hour)." One light year is not - if I can anally interject - 671 million miles per hour. Maybe that works because "the Pepsi Orbits" "dimensionalise exponentially".

This might be a useful moment to mention that the new logo is basically the same as the old one, except one of the curves has been changed a bit to look more like a smile.

The Arnell agency has yet to comment on the veracity of the document, but Pepsi certainly announced a revamp in October last year, and from reading his work, Peter Arnell does quite like the word "dimensionalise". At a recent news conference, he also compared his advert for SoBe Lifewater to the achievements of Thomas Edison in inventing cinematography.

And even if this is an elaborate 27-page long spoof, the horror is that it's believable. Across huge swaths of the world, scientific reasoning is regarded as decorative: a rhetorical stance, or a speech in a white coat from a 1950s B-movie. We live in a world that has indulged these buffoons for so long that they think they are heroes, while nerds are regarded with contempt. Our only hope is that after the robot wars, you will all starve, cold and in the rain, wearing leaves and eating mud.

27 page document can be found here (6MB PDF, right click to save)

It's up there with French philosophical texts as amongst the most stupid ever written. Good for a laugh.

Incoherent gibberish enough and a physicist's joke.

14 February 2009

politicians on facebook, make that 'idiots' on facebook, or idiots who are politicians

I found this article about a territory legislature politician amusing. From the NT News (NT being the Northern Territory)

Pollie updated Facebook during debate

FACE FACTS: Excerpts from the Facebook page of CLP leadership contender Dave Tollner (inset). He updated it during a Parliamentary debate on Thursday night, including finding time to join a heavy metal group.

FACE FACTS: Excerpts from the Facebook page of CLP leadership contender Dave Tollner (inset). He updated it during a Parliamentary debate on Thursday night, including finding time to join a heavy metal group.

CLP leadership contender Dave Tollner played on his Facebook page during a parliamentary debate about the environment.

He updated his "status" on the social networking website to: "Sitting in Parliament listening to the Chief Minister talk absolute nonsense."

In fact, Paul Henderson was not in the Legislative Assembly chamber. The time logged on the posting shows that Mr Tollner was actually listening to Environment Minister Alison Anderson make a statement about the threat of invasive weeds and feral animals to the Territory.

Mr Tollner, who was elected as the MLA for inner Darwin seat of Fong Lim in the last Territory election, received a reply to his posting from "friend" Jenny saying: "Shouldn't you be paying at least a little of attention?"

And Anthony wrote: "Why don't you ask that f***head about blackouts?"

Mr Tollner said yesterday he was listening to the debate while playing on Facebook.

"You can chew gum and walk," he said.

Every Member of the Legislative Assembly has a taxpayer-funded laptop computer on their desk in the parliamentary chamber.

Politicians have often been accused of playing on the net rather than listening to proceedings.

While the environmental debate continued, Mr Tollner joined a heavy metal website and a group called Stop Student Taxes.

He became "friends" with Haley, Kate, Hayley, Alana, Aisa and four other unnamed people.

Mr Tollner also wrote to Antonello and became friends with Dani.

The previous day his Facebook page shows he signed up for an anti-Barack Obama website.

What an idiot.

31 January 2009

blonde quotes

That dreadful tabloid British newspaper The Sun has compiled a list of top 50 dumb blonde quotes.

MAYBE these blonde stars traded fame and fortune for a large slice of their brains?

Paris Hilton, for instance, might fancy finding a bff in Blighty, but she should work out that Gordon Ramsey is not the Prime Minister first.

But the hotel heiress isn’t the only famous fair-header to uphold the blonde stereotype.

Check out our top 50 dumb blonde quotes below:


1) Paris Hilton talking to press about the US chain store: "Wal-Mart... do they like make walls there?"

2) Jessica Simpson on NewleyWeds: "Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it says 'Chicken by the Sea.' "

3) Alicia Silverstone on her role in Clueless: "I think that the film was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."

4) Chantelle Houghton when Big Brother said she had changed since becoming a celebrity: "I've changed? What do you mean... I've changed my clothes?"

5) Jodie Marsh in a recent interview: "Eskimos are uncivilised because they don't have any shops."

6) Paris Hilton on her technique on the red carpet: "I don't really think, I just walk."

7) Jessica Simpson on her first day at high school: "A teacher asked us if anybody knew the names of the continents. I was sooo excited. I was like, Damn it! It's my first day of 7th grade, I'm in junior high and I know this answer. So I raised my hand, I was the first one, and I said A-E-I-O-U!"

8) Goldie Hawn on her favourite types of films: "Comedy is funny".

9) Sam Fox on fitness clothes: "I’ve got 10 pairs of training shoes - one for every day of the week."

10) Britney Spears on her taste in clothes: "So many people have asked me how I could possibly be a role model and dress like a tramp and get implants... all I have to say is that self-esteem is how you look at yourself and I feel good enough about myself so wear that kind of clothing... the breast implant issue has nothing to do with that..."

11) BB's Helen Adam’s on education: "The worst thing is when the press call me a dizzy blonde - I got a B in Drama, a D in English, I did a hairdressing course and a beauty certificate."

12) Lady Victoria Hervey on the homeless: "It's so bad being homeless in winter. They should go somewhere warm like the Caribbean where they can eat fresh fish all day."

13) Britney Spears on Japan: "I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa."

14) Jessica Simpson when offered buffalo wings: "Sorry I don't eat buffalo."

15) Paris Hilton on her fame: "There's nobody in the world like me. I think every decade has an iconic blonde, like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana and, right now, I’m that icon."

16) Chantelle Houghton on George Galloway: "He looks at us like we're stupid, scatty, uneducated girls. He's a right chauvinistic pig, whatever that means!"

17) Cameron Diaz on science: "I've been noticing gravity since I was very young."

18) Britney Spears on where she might start her theatre career: "I would rather start out somewhere small, like London or England.”

19) BB's Helen Adams on magic man Paul Daniels: "Yeah, you know Jack Daniels... he does all the magic stuff!"

20) Christina Alguilera on film festivals: "So where’s the Cannes film festival being held this year?"

21) Paris Hilton on her career choices: "First wanted to be a veterinarian. And then I realised you had to give them shots to put them to sleep, so I decided I'd just buy a bunch of animals and have them in my house instead."

22) Alicia Douvall on motherhood: "I think a 16-year-old with a nice, sexy figure will do really well as a model as long as she's managed well. That's why I'm happy for Georgia to have a boob job because it will give her a career."

23) Chantelle Houghton on hearing George Galloway was an MP: "Does that mean you work in that big room with the green seats?"

24) Britney on capital punishment: "I am for the death penalty. Who commits terrible acts must get a fitting punishment. That way he learns the lesson for the next time."

25) BB2's Helen Adams on pulses: "How much chicken is there in chick peas?"

26) Chanelle Hayes on her Posh spice obsession: "I like what she (Victoria Beckham) wears. That's what magazines are all about - there's always a picture of a celebrity and where to buy a replica of what they're wearing. It's not as if I'm doing anything weird."

27) Paris Hilton on her title: "I don't want to be known as the Hilton heiress, because I didn't do anything for that."

28) Tara Reid on her fellow blonde celeb: "I make Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist."

29) Ivana Trump on literature: "Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything."

30) Christina Aguilera on herself: "I'm an ocean, because I'm really deep. If you search deep enough you can find rare exotic treasures."

31) Britney Spears on her first tour: "Where the hell is Australia anyway?"

32) Alicia Douvall on surgery: "I know it (plastic surgeries) will kill me. But I'd rather die trying to sort things out."

33) Jodie Marsh on cooking: "Is an egg a vegetable?"

34) Kimberly Stewart on Jennifer Aniston: "I like her cos she's like, homely. She must have something else going on cos it's not like she's gorgeous or anything."

35) Jessica Simpson on her mood at the VH1 '05 video awards: "Isn’t it weird I’m getting all emotionable."

36) Helen Adams on BB2 : "I probably sound Welsh on the telly."

37) Mariah Carey on the death of the King of Jordan: "I loved Jordan. He was one of the greatest athletes of our time."

38) Chantelle Houghton on different types of doctors: "What’s a gynaecologist?"

39) Pamela Anderson on her secret to success: "I don't think about anything too much . . . If I think too much, it kind of freaks me out!"

40) Ivana Trump on getting one over on her ex's new girlfriend: “Gorgeous hair is the best revenge.”

41) Brooke Shields on her campaign against smoking: "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."

42) Heather Locklear on being proud of her heritage: "From an early age I was aware of what America meant, and how the Marines at Camp Pendleton were ready to defend us at a moment's notice. I also remember what fabulous bodies those troops had."

43) Jessica Simpson on her scantily clad videos: "I'm definitely shy, so it was definitely acting for me to drop a trench coat and be in a bikini and try to get my cousins out of trouble by using my body. That was definitely acting!"

44) Chantelle Houghton working out the shopping budget: "Eleventy-twelve pence? I don't get it. How much is that then?"

45) Britney on why she did a cover of I Love Rock and Roll: "I always loved Pat Benatar."

46) Emma Bunton on moobs: "I wish men had boobs because I like the feel of them. It's so funny - when I record I sing with a hand over each of them, maybe it's a comfort thing."

47) Cyndi Crawford on modelling: "In the studio, I do try to have a thought in my head, so that it's not like a blank stare."

48) The late Anna Nicole Smith on suicide bombers: "Doesn't that hurt?"

49) Jessica Simpson to the President when visiting the White House: "I love what you’ve done with the place!"

50) Mischa Barton on being blessed with looks: "Pretty people aren't as accepted as other people. It comes with all these stigmas."

I don't know half of them either - probably C-list British minor celebrities from 'reality' television programs.

Some of the absurd statements might very well have been said as a joke. It also takes an intelligent person to play dumb.

*********
Far too hot.

24 January 2009

taking the swear jar to extremes

South Carolina Senator Robert Ford has sponsored a bill to criminalise swearing. Full text below.

A BILL

TO AMEND THE CODE OF LAWS OF SOUTH CAROLINA, 1976, BY ADDING SECTION 16-15-370 SO AS TO MAKE IT UNLAWFUL TO COMMUNICATE PROFANITY IN A PUBLIC FORUM OR PLACE OF PUBLIC ACCOMMODATION; BY ADDING SECTION 16-15-430 SO AS TO CREATE THE OFFENSE OF DISSEMINATING PROFANITY TO A MINOR AND PROVIDE A PENALTY FOR THE OFFENSE; TO AMEND SECTION 16-15-305, RELATING TO DISSEMINATING OBSCENITY, SO AS TO SPECIFY BOTH ORAL AND WRITTEN PUBLICATIONS; AND TO AMEND SECTION 16-15-375, RELATING TO DEFINITIONS FOR PURPOSES OF MORALITY AND DECENCY OFFENSES AGAINST MINORS, SO AS TO INCLUDE THE OFFENSE OF DISSEMINATING PROFANITY TO A MINOR.

Be it enacted by the General Assembly of the State of South Carolina:

SECTION 1. Article 3, Chapter 15, Title 16 of the 1976 Code is amended by adding:

"Section 16-15-370. (A) It is unlawful for a person in a public forum or place of public accommodation wilfully and knowingly to publish orally or in writing, exhibit, or otherwise make available material containing words, language, or actions of a profane, vulgar, lewd, lascivious, or indecent nature.

(B) A person who violates the provisions of this section is guilty of a felony and, upon conviction, must be fined not more than five thousand dollars or imprisoned not more than five years, or both."

SECTION 2. Article 3, Chapter 15, Title 16 of the 1976 Code is amended by adding:

"Section 16-15-430. (A) It is unlawful for a person to disseminate profanity to a minor if he wilfully and knowingly publishes orally or in writing, exhibits, or otherwise makes available material containing words, language, or actions of profane, vulgar, lewd, lascivious, or indecent nature.

(B) A person who violates the provisions of this section is guilty of a felony and, upon conviction, must be fined not more than five thousand dollars or imprisoned not more than five years, or both."

SECTION 3. Section 16-15-305(A)(3) of the 1976 Code is amended to read:

"(3) publishes orally or in writing, exhibits, or otherwise makes available anything obscene to any a group or individual; or"

SECTION 4. The first undesignated paragraph of Section 16-15-375 of the 1976 Code is amended to read:

"The following definitions apply to Section 16-15-385, disseminating or exhibiting to minors harmful material or performances; Section 16-15-387, employing a person under the age of eighteen years to appear in a state of sexually explicit nudity in a public place; Section 16-15-395, first degree sexual exploitation of a minor; Section 16-15-405, second degree sexual exploitation of a minor; Section 16-15-410, third degree sexual exploitation of a minor; Section 16-15-415, promoting prostitution of a minor; and Section 16-15-425, participating in prostitution of a minor; and Section 16-15-430, disseminating profanity to a minor."

SECTION 5. The repeal or amendment by this act of any law, whether temporary or permanent or civil or criminal, does not affect pending actions, rights, duties, or liabilities founded thereon, or alter, discharge, release or extinguish any penalty, forfeiture, or liability incurred under the repealed or amended law, unless the repealed or amended provision shall so expressly provide. After the effective date of this act, all laws repealed or amended by this act must be taken and treated as remaining in full force and effect for the purpose of sustaining any pending or vested right, civil action, special proceeding, criminal prosecution, or appeal existing as of the effective date of this act, and for the enforcement of rights, duties, penalties, forfeitures, and liabilities as they stood under the repealed or amended laws.

SECTION 6. This act takes effect upon approval by the Governor.

What the fuck? There should be a law against legislators wasting time (paid for by taxpayers) on trivial matters.

See also WCBD TV news


************
Today was a do nothing day.

11 December 2008

worse than lost in translation

For some reason, I found this story very schadenfreude. From (UK) Daily Telegraph on 9 December 2008
Advert for brothel mistaken for classical Chinese poem

A respected German scientific magazine has been embarrassed to discover it printed a Chinese-language advertisement for "jade-like girls" and "coquettish and enchanting housewives" across its front cover.

By Richard Spencer in Beijing
Last Updated: 7:49AM GMT 09 Dec 2008

The striking white-on-red text was intended to show off the Chinese focus of the official journal of the Max Planck Institute.

The editors, who thought they were printing a piece of classical Chinese poetry, said they ran it past "a German sinologist" to make sure.

In fact, the text appears to be a flier for a Hong Kong or Macau entertainment centre.

It says two new "directors" have been appointed to oversee a series of "matinees". They will personally lead "jade-like girls in the spring of youth, beauties from the north" - the north of China is a popular recruiting ground for Hong Kong and Macau prostitutes. It also has "housewives whose performances are coquettish and enchanting".

The magazine cover has circulated on Chinese blogs, causing amusement and a certain amount of schadenfreude.

Many English-speaking Chinese are keenly aware that poorly translated signs and restaurant menus here are a perpetual source of amusement for foreigners, with a number of popular online and published collections, such as www.engrish.com

Government-led attempts to spare the nation's blushes are matched with vengeful glee by tattooists who cash in on the current, David Beckham-led craze for Chinese characters by inscribing young backpackers' bodies with slogans such as "A fool and his money are easily parted" or crude sexual invitations.

On the other hand, Chinglish is hitting back due to attempts to use translation software to improve matters.

In one celebrated case, a rash of English-language signs featuring the prominent and inexplicable use of the F-word was discovered to be the fault of a piece of translation software that failed to distinguish meanings of the character for "to do", which carries the same sexual double entendre in Chinese as it does in English.

Particular online delight has come from the discovery of a restaurant whose sign gives its English name as "Translate Server Error".

How the "German sinologist" came to mistake a strip club advertisement for a piece of classical poetry has not been made clear. An apology for the cover's "inappropriate content" to Chinese subscribers from the Max Planck Institute said: "To our sincere regret, it has now emerged that the text contains deeper levels of meaning, which are not immediately accessible to a non-native speaker."

Chinese readers however suspect a practical joke, at best, if not a calculated insult to the pride of the Chinese nation.
And the illustration


I've always wondered about non-Chinese language readers with tattoos of Chinese characters in order to be fashionable. I wonder if they realise the meaning of the words.

******************

25 October 2008

if you chuck a sickie, don't brag about it on facebook

Poor Kyle Doyle. He did what is commonly done by Australian workers and that is to be too ill to work on the day following a heavy night of drinking. From The Age
Sickie faker busted by Facebook [*sic]

Asher Moses
October 23, 2008

A Sydney telco employee has learned the hard way the perils of sharing too much information on Facebook [*sic] after he was caught by his boss faking a sickie after a big night out.

In an email exchange doing the rounds of office blocks, Kyle Doyle was asked by his employer, AAPT, to provide a medical certificate verifying a day of sick leave in August.

Doyle, a call centre worker, protested, saying his contract stipulated he did not require a medical certificate for taking only one day off.

His boss replied that this was usually the case but in this instance the company had determined that the leave was not due to medical reasons.

"My leave was due to medical reasons, so you cannot deny leave based on a line manager's discretion, with no proof, please process leave as requested," Doyle responded.

The manager then sent Doyle a screen grab of Doyle's Facebook [*sic] profile, highlighting a status update written on the leave day in question.

"Kyle Doyle is not going to work, f--- it i'm still trashed. SICKIE WOO!," it read.

Sprung and with no room left to move, Doyle replied to the boss: "HAHAHA LMAO [laughing my ass off] epic fail. No worries man."

Doyle did not respond to a request for comment sent over Facebook [*sic] but a friend of his confirmed the incident was not a hoax.

The employer would not comment.

Update 24/10 - AAPT today released a statement saying it had completed an investigation of its email records and the exchange between Doyle and his boss "never occurred".

However, a spokeswoman confirmed that both are current employees with the company. AAPT would not give any further details and would not say whether the emails were part of a prank by Doyle or one of his colleagues.

"This issue will continue to be dealt with internally, as a matter of standard company process," AAPT's statement read.


I think that it is quite legitimate to have a sick day from work if a person is too ill to go to work, regardless of the cause. This includes being 'trashed'.

Silly boy, he should have written "Kyle Doyle is home and too unwell to go to work". It wasn't even a 'sickie' which is euphemism for taking a day off from work (to play golf, go fishing etc) and claiming sick leave for it.

*note to The Age, facebook is not capitalised. It makes it look funny.

**************
I was too tired to blog on Thursday and Friday nights.

Emily came over on Thursday night for dinner and I made a beef madras curry. She is a curry addict. On Friday late afternoon, Anthony came over after we had an after work beer. It's nice to have visitors.

20 October 2008

wealth at whose price?

In South Africa, 300 people are killed each year for their body parts, which are used in traditional 'muti' medicine, including to attract wealth (Daily Telegraph). In Tanzania, albino baby body parts are used in potions to attract wealth (BBC News).

Greed knows no bounds. Such greedy people have no conscience and place no value in the life of others.

Just like bankers on Wall Street.

**************
The days are getting longer. Spring is in the air. No wonder I have a strange compulsion to tidy up.

25 August 2008

Eating as a sport?

More bizarre reading from The Independent
Not to be scoffed at: Competitve eating is the world's fastest-growing hobby

What compels a person to swallow 65 hard-boiled eggs in six minutes? The money? The danger? The adoration of fans?

By Tim Walker
Friday, 8 August 2008

What's the most dangerous thing you can do sitting down? It takes stamina and determination, and it tests your body to the limit. It brings fame and fortune to its top competitors, but claims as many lives as motorsport. Whitewater kayaking? Operating a crane? Or could it be competitive eating?

In the US, home of professional food consumption, the governing body Major League Eating (MLE) presides over a pastime that, it claims, is the world's fastest growing sport. Last month, 1.5 million people tuned in to ESPN to watch 23-year-old Joey "The Jaws" Chestnut defeat Takeru "Tsunami" Kobayashi in a tie-breaking eat-off at Nathan's Famous Fourth of July Hot Dog Eating Contest, the biggest event on the eating calendar. Chestnut walked away – gingerly, no doubt – with $10,000 in prize money.

Chestnut and Kobayashi are the Federer and Nadal of competitive eating. Between 2001 and 2006, Kobayashi, 29, won the Fourth of July contest at Coney Island, New York, six years in a row. In 2007, Chestnut beat his rival for the first time, breaking the Japanese champ's world record by eating 66 hot dogs (and their buns) in 12 minutes. When, a few days before the competition, Kobayashi announced that his vigorous training regime had resulted in an arthritic jaw, the news was briefly the lead story on the New York Times website. He recovered in time to compete, but could only stomach a personal best of 63 dogs.

Kobayashi retains some of his records, like the 41 lobster rolls he put away in 10 minutes, or the 17.7lbs of cow brains he once poked down in 15 minutes. But the young Chestnut's CV already reads like Godzilla's weekly shopping list. In June 2006, he ate 47 grilled cheese sandwiches in 10 minutes. In October 2007, he ate 103 hamburgers in eight minutes. And in April this year he ate 8.8lbs of tempura deep-fried asparagus spears in 10 minutes, at the Asparagus Fest in Stockton, California. His pee must have smelled funny for weeks.

The queen of the women's circuit is the diminutive Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas, holder of numerous world records including hard-boiled eggs (65 in six minutes, 40 seconds), baked beans (8.4lbs in two minutes, 47 seconds) and oysters (46 dozen in 10 minutes). Thomas, who weighs in at just 105lbs prior to competition, is living proof that you needn't be obese to be a champion eater. In fact, she believes that her skinny build allows her stomach to expand with less difficulty than if it were surrounded by constricting adipose tissue; this is known as the Belt of Fat theory. Even the legendary Kobayashi weighs a modest 160lbs pounds.


Eric Booker, left, and Sonya Thomas compete in a ham biscuit eating contest in 2006. Thomas ate 60 to Booker's 42

Ryan Nerz is a spokesman for MLE, and the author of the competitive eating chronicle Eat This Book. As a non-competitor, he's still unsure of the motivations of most professional eaters. "America will make a sport out of anything," he says. "A lot of college fraternities and Wall Street banks hold eating contests, where they take bets on how many Big Macs they can eat in 10 minutes. Guys like to claim they're big eaters the same way they claim they're big drinkers.

"At the big eating events you have normal guys who get up and do this thing well, beat a bunch of people, and all of a sudden they have a camera shoved in their face. They get a whole new group of friends, a blog, a MySpace page, fans. It very quickly becomes their identity, and it transcends their former identity as a waiter at a pizza restaurant, an accountant or whatever."

The profile of a typical competitive eater has changed in recent years, from the overweight, blue-collar champions of old, such as Eric "Badlands" Booker, who has released two competitive-eating-themed hip-hop albums (Hungry and Focused and Hungry and Focused II: The Ingestion Engine) to a younger, slimmer, more middle-class competitor. There are now even two women in the world top 10, including Sonya Thomas.

MLE has made attempts to take the sport global, including holding a mince pie eating contest in Somerset in 2006, and a chicken satay eating contest at the first MLE Asia event in Singapore last week. Lup Fun Yau, 35, holds UK records for the eating of sugared doughnuts without licking one's lips (six in three minutes), and full English breakfasts (five and ¾ platefuls of fried food in 12 minutes). "It's a US sport," he says. "They take it far more seriously and the prize money is much bigger. The Black Widow and Joey the Jaws have made millions from it; they're in it for the money. But for people in England it's just about having a laugh, getting in the newspaper and having your 15 minutes of fame."

Kobayashi's jaw condition was a rarity, but intestinal injuries are expected to become more common as eaters develop training regimes as rigorous as an athlete's. Some top competitors regularly knock back large amounts of liquid (water, milk, or cola) to teach their stomachs to stretch. As well as the ever-present threat of gastric rupture, such treatment may damage their stomachs' digestive capabilities in the long term. "They're very close-lipped (pun intended) about their training methods," says Nerz. "They have to work on their stomach capacity. They have to work on being able to swallow large, barely chewed chunks of food. And some of them simply have natural talents – Joey Chestnut just has a really big mouth."

MLE maintains strict safety standards at all of its events, including the presence of emergency medics, and a lower-age limit of 18. But no one can legislate against unsanctioned competitions. Such episodes have led to a number of deaths. Adam Deeley, a graphic design student from Swansea, recently died after eating five fairy cakes in an impromptu contest. In January, a woman in California died after drinking almost two gallons of water in a competition sponsored by local radio – the prize on offer was a Nintendo Wii. And in 2002, a 14-year-old schoolboy from Japan choked to death after challenging his friends to a bread-eating race.

"Something like that happens every couple of years," says Nerz. "And we think that bolsters our whole reason for existing. Eating contests will occur whether or not they're organised by a governing body like MLE. So you may as well make sure they're organised with an emergency medical technician at every contest, and with a group like us who'll monitor the safety of each contest. The reason each of our events is only about eight to 12 minutes long is that, not only will the audience and the media reach a limit of what they want to watch, but also the competitors won't cause themselves any distinct damage."

It says something about the decadence of the developed world that we should celebrate the swallowing of 47 glazed doughnuts in eight minutes (by Eric Booker), while the world food crisis rages just outside the stadium gates. Then again, as Nerz argues, motorsport also has an ethical case to answer: "[But] people don't complain about Nascar wasting gas."

The competitive eaters' hall of fame

Mayonnaise: Four 907g bowls in 8 minutes - Oleg Zhornitskiy

Mince pies: 6 pies at the Wookey Hole Big Eat in Somerset in 10 minutes - Sonya Thomas, 29 November 2006

Nigiri sushi: 141 pieces in six minutes - Timothy Janus, 11 April 2008

Peanut butter & jelly sandwiches: 42 sandwiches in 10 minutes - Patrick Bertoletti, 8 August 2007

Spam: 2.72kg of Spam in 12 minutes - Richard LeFevre, 3 April 2004

Pork ribs: 3.81kg in 12 minutes - Joey Chestnut, 16 July 2006

Pigs' trotters: 1.31kg of pigs' trotters in 10 minutes- Arturo Rios Jr, 23 June 2007

Peas: 4.31kg in 12 minutes - Eric Booker

Shrimps: 2.26kg of spot shrimps in 12 minutes - Erik Denmark, 22 September 2006

Jalapeños: 177 pickled jalapeño peppers in 15 minutes - Patrick Bertoletti

Waffles: 29 waffles in 10 minutes - Patrick Bertoletti, 7 October 2007

Lobster: 44 Maine lobsters (5.13kg of meat) from the shell in 12 minutes - Sonya Thomas, 13 August 2005

As I've mentioned previously, simply vulgar. Some people in the world can barely eat enough to survive, others are able to eat for pleasure, but eating wastefully for a sport is immoral.

********************
Monday. I even got into work earlier today.

05 July 2008

an eating hero?

The hot-dog eating contest was on again. Reported by Associated Press
Chestnut wins hot dog contest after eat-off

By ADAM GOLDMAN – 4 July 2008

NEW YORK (AP) — Joey Chestnut reclaimed the top spot at the annual hot dog eating contest in Coney Island on Friday after first tying with archrival Takeru Kobayashi in a 10-minute chow-down and then beating him in a five-dog eat-off.

The men tied at 59 frankfurters in 10 minutes, before being made to gobble another five dogs in a last-minute tiebreaker. They consumed 64 hot dogs total and were looking quite peaked after the competition.

Kobayashi had hoped to reclaim the throne after a disappointing three-dog loss last year shattered his six-year winning streak.

"He wanted it, but I needed it," Chestnut said of his diminutive Japanese rival.

Thousands gathered at Coney Island on the Fourth of July to watch the glutinous gladiators compete in the annual event. Chestnut emerged victorious for the second year in a row, beating 20 others who had only 10 minutes to scarf down as many hot dogs as possible, two minutes less than in previous years.

The regulation time was changed after it was revealed that the original competition in 1916 was just 10 minutes long, instead of the 12-minute limit used in more recent years. The switch made for a tense competition.

Chestnut quickly pulled ahead, with cheeks puffed as he crammed hot dogs into his mouth. At one point, the 24-year-old Californian led Kobayashi 14 to 11. Kobayashi fell to third place, but ate his way back and the two went dog-to-dog in the final stretch. After a frankfurter photo-finish, the judges decided it was a tie.

Richard Shea, one of the founders of the International Federation of Competitive Eating, said it was the first time in his memory the contest went into overtime.

As usual, Kobayashi's strategy was to eat all the dogs first, then dunk the buns and eat them. A pause while swallowing the soggy buns meant defeat.

"He should've won it, it was his to win," said judge Gersh Kuntzman said of the diminutive 30-year-old of Nagano, Japan.

The 128-pound legend in the competitive eating circuit told Brooklyn papers that he wasn't feeling 100 percent, and while he was improving, the tooth problem and sore jaw that hampered last year's performance were still something of a problem.

"If I put one more mouthful in, I could've won (in regulation)," Kobayashi said through a translator.

Their competitors also included a pizza cook from New York City, a fishmonger from Chicago and a 110-pound mother of two from Maryland.

Chestnut, who topped out at 210 pounds, downplayed his win, which includes $10,000 and the coveted mustard-yellow belt.

"It was crazy. I'm just a normal guy eating hot dogs on the Fourth," he said. "You can't overcomplicate it."

Chestnut said he was mentally prepared to eat 70, but his body was pushing back during the competition; it didn't want to swallow fast enough.

And it shouldn't want to. In fact, it's downright bad for your health, says Dr. Marc Siegel, a professor at New York University School of Medicine.

"Hot dogs are extremely unhealthy, especially when eaten at high volume," he said. "They're really processed, they have high cholesterol and too much salt."

And thanks to the quantities the competitors ate, they'll likely suffer nausea, bloat, headache, and possibly high blood pressure for several days as the body slowly digests the food.

"One is bad for you, five's worse and 50 is terrible," he said.

Luckily for the svelte first and second-place winners, being in better shape helps in digesting the food.

And any gastrointestinal woes won't deter Kobayashi. He says he'll be back for a rematch next year. Before that, the two will face off again at the Krystal Square Off World Hamburger Eating Championship Sept. 28 in Chattanooga, Tenn.
Joey Chestnut, centre, and his arch rival, Takeru Kobayashi, left, battle to eat the most hot dogs at the annual hot dog eating contest in the Brooklyn borough of New York.
Joey Chestnut, centre, and his arch rival, Takeru Kobayashi, left, battle to eat the most hot dogs at the annual hot dog eating contest in the Brooklyn borough of New York. Photo: AP

And reported by CNN



Yes, there are food shortages worldwide. Eating contests are simply vulgar.

Joey Chestnut a hero? More like a glutton.

****************
Today was a busy day (see Kane's tails).

22 May 2008

Chelsea Flower Show - Jamie Durie upsets Prince Philip

Reported in The Telegraph (UK)

The Prince apparently took exception to being corrected when he complimented Australian Jamie Durie on the fine tree fern in his gold-medal winning display.

When Mr Durie informed him that the plant was actually a Macrozamia moorei, part of the cycad family, the 86-year-old Prince is said to have muttered: "I didn't come here to get a lesson".

Prince Philip is an idiot. Apparently, Jamie Durie was not aware of how to respond to royal 'small talk'. Regardless, Philip is still an idiot.

His off-the-cuff remarks have got him in trouble over the years.

In 1999, he said that an old fashioned fuse box in Edinburgh looked as though "it was put in by an Indian", while during a visit to China in 1986 he described Peking as "ghastly" and told British students: "If you stay here much longer you'll all be slitty-eyed."

Apparently he is racist too.

*****************
Thankfully tomorrow is Friday.

09 May 2008

biscuit imperialism

Just because Oreo cookies are the best selling in the United States, it doesn't mean that the rest of the world will like it.

In Australia, we have our favourite biscuits with entire supermarket aisles stocking a huge variety. There was an attempt to mass market the Oreo in Australia with that awful cutesy commercial with the child dunking his Oreo in milk. Didn't work. Why would we switch from our Tim Tam?

Now the Oreo is being launched in the UK. Fat chance. The British also have their favourite biscuits.

***********
After work, I went to the southside for a birthday dinner for Kim's 40th at a bistro and returned home at 10pm.

27 April 2008

more on food prices

Food prices have been rising in Australia, along with housing (rental or mortgage repayments due to rising interest rates), and petrol.

Reported in The Age about one family:

Rebecca Avery, 43, and her family have felt the impact of the rising cost of living. As Ms Avery, a single mother, struggles with a mortgage, rising food and petrol prices have taken their toll on her fortnightly budget.

For Ms Avery and her two daughters, Georgia, 14, and Kaitlin, 12, eating at restaurants and getting take-away food has become a luxury.

At the supermarket, she said, lamb cutlets have been replaced by mince meat. "It's the petrol that's so expensive, food and vegetables and meat are also ridiculous," Ms Avery said.

Lamb cutlets? At over $30 per kg, they have always been a luxury. Silly woman, she needs to shop smarter. If she was buying lamb cutlets and now talking about mince meat, I have no sympathy for her.

Firstly, mince meat is around $10 per kg. If she knew how to shop smarter, she would know that corned silverside can be bought for as little as $5 per kg. Instead of lamb cutlets, she can buy lamb forequarter chops on special for under $6 per kg.

I have as much sympathy for someone complaining that they can no longer afford lamb cutlets as someone who can no longer afford lobster.

Eating at restaurants and getting take-away (take-out)? I grew up in a working class household. We were lucky to have take-out. Restaurants were out of the question and only for really special occasions (I can only remember twice as a child/teenager).

It seems that too many people want more than they can afford these days.

*****************
A quiet day today, although I was out in the afternoon to watch a football game not shown on free-to-air TV, at a club. I spent the rest of the time watching the latest episodes of Smallville, Doctor Who and Battlestar Galactica online. My addictions.

I put the washing out in the morning and it rained.

18 February 2008

just ignorant, or dumb?

On 1 December 2007, I wrote about ignorant people who also vote and posted a clip from Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader.



There was a great article in the New York Times, which suggested that dumbing down reflects attitudes today, rather than genuine lack of knowledge.
February 14, 2008
Dumb and Dumber: Are Americans Hostile to Knowledge?
By PATRICIA COHEN

A popular video on YouTube shows Kellie Pickler, the adorable platinum blonde from “American Idol,” appearing on the Fox game show “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?” during celebrity week. Selected from a third-grade geography curriculum, the $25,000 question asked: “Budapest is the capital of what European country?”

Ms. Pickler threw up both hands and looked at the large blackboard perplexed. “I thought Europe was a country,” she said. Playing it safe, she chose to copy the answer offered by one of the genuine fifth graders: Hungary. “Hungry?” she said, eyes widening in disbelief. “That’s a country? I’ve heard of Turkey. But Hungry? I’ve never heard of it.”

Such, uh, lack of global awareness is the kind of thing that drives Susan Jacoby, author of “The Age of American Unreason,” up a wall. Ms. Jacoby is one of a number of writers with new books that bemoan the state of American culture.

Joining the circle of curmudgeons this season is Eric G. Wilson, whose “Against Happiness” warns that the “American obsession with happiness” could “well lead to a sudden extinction of the creative impulse, that could result in an extermination as horrible as those foreshadowed by global warming and environmental crisis and nuclear proliferation.”

Then there is Lee Siegel’s “Against the Machine: Being Human in the Age of the Electronic Mob,” which inveighs against the Internet for encouraging solipsism, debased discourse and arrant commercialization. Mr. Siegel, one might remember, was suspended by The New Republic for using a fake online persona in order to trash critics of his blog (“you couldn’t tie Siegel’s shoelaces”) and to praise himself (“brave, brilliant”).

Ms. Jacoby, whose book came out on Tuesday, doesn’t zero in on a particular technology or emotion, but rather on what she feels is a generalized hostility to knowledge. She is well aware that some may tag her a crank. “I expect to get bashed,” said Ms. Jacoby, 62, either as an older person who upbraids the young for plummeting standards and values, or as a secularist whose defense of scientific rationalism is a way to disparage religion.

Ms. Jacoby, however, is quick to point out that her indictment is not limited by age or ideology. Yes, she knows that eggheads, nerds, bookworms, longhairs, pointy heads, highbrows and know-it-alls have been mocked and dismissed throughout American history. And liberal and conservative writers, from Richard Hofstadter to Allan Bloom, have regularly analyzed the phenomenon and offered advice.

T. J. Jackson Lears, a cultural historian who edits the quarterly review Raritan, said, “The tendency to this sort of lamentation is perennial in American history,” adding that in periods “when political problems seem intractable or somehow frozen, there is a turn toward cultural issues.”

But now, Ms. Jacoby said, something different is happening: anti-intellectualism (the attitude that “too much learning can be a dangerous thing”) and anti-rationalism (“the idea that there is no such things as evidence or fact, just opinion”) have fused in a particularly insidious way.

Not only are citizens ignorant about essential scientific, civic and cultural knowledge, she said, but they also don’t think it matters.

She pointed to a 2006 National Geographic poll that found nearly half of 18- to 24-year-olds don’t think it is necessary or important to know where countries in the news are located. So more than three years into the Iraq war, only 23 percent of those with some college could locate Iraq, Iran, Saudi Arabia and Israel on a map.

Ms. Jacoby, dressed in a bright red turtleneck with lipstick to match, was sitting, appropriately, in that temple of knowledge, the New York Public Library’s majestic Beaux Arts building on Fifth Avenue. The author of seven other books, she was a fellow at the library when she first got the idea for this book back in 2001, on 9/11.

Walking home to her Upper East Side apartment, she said, overwhelmed and confused, she stopped at a bar. As she sipped her bloody mary, she quietly listened to two men, neatly dressed in suits. For a second she thought they were going to compare that day’s horrifying attack to the Japanese bombing in 1941 that blew America into World War II:

“This is just like Pearl Harbor,” one of the men said.

The other asked, “What is Pearl Harbor?”

“That was when the Vietnamese dropped bombs in a harbor, and it started the Vietnam War,” the first man replied.

At that moment, Ms. Jacoby said, “I decided to write this book.”

Ms. Jacoby doesn’t expect to revolutionize the nation’s educational system or cause millions of Americans to switch off “American Idol” and pick up Schopenhauer. But she would like to start a conversation about why the United States seems particularly vulnerable to such a virulent strain of anti-intellectualism. After all, “the empire of infotainment doesn’t stop at the American border,” she said, yet students in many other countries consistently outperform American students in science, math and reading on comparative tests.

In part, she lays the blame on a failing educational system. “Although people are going to school more and more years, there’s no evidence that they know more,” she said.

Ms. Jacoby also blames religious fundamentalism’s antipathy toward science, as she grieves over surveys that show that nearly two-thirds of Americans want creationism to be taught along with evolution.

Ms. Jacoby doesn’t leave liberals out of her analysis, mentioning the New Left’s attacks on universities in the 1960s, the decision to consign African-American and women’s studies to an “academic ghetto” instead of integrating them into the core curriculum, ponderous musings on rock music and pop culture courses on everything from sitcoms to fat that trivialize college-level learning.

Avoiding the liberal or conservative label in this particular argument, she prefers to call herself a “cultural conservationist.”

For all her scholarly interests, though, Ms. Jacoby said she recognized just how hard it is to tune out the 24/7 entertainment culture. A few years ago she participated in the annual campaign to turn off the television for a week. “I was stunned at how difficult it was for me,” she said.

The surprise at her own dependency on electronic and visual media made her realize just how pervasive the culture of distraction is and how susceptible everyone is — even curmudgeons.
- Amazon.com listing for Susan Jacoby's The Age of American Unreason

Having an idiot for a president certainly doesn't help. If knowledge is power, then a nation of morons makes them easier to control. How hard is it to remember a few simple facts anyway? It wouldn't be surprising that people know more about celebrities than the real world.

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Kane now has his own blog - kanetails.blogspot.com to make it easier to read all about his adventures (linked in my right hand menu).